Last week I popped in to talk about the reasons we sabotage. Just to recap here are the three biggest reason:
Our subconscious mind is running the show and creates fear and resistance so it can keep us safe, loved and belonging
We don’t have a plan
We don’t manage our thoughts
In my last email, I talked about how not having a plan will sabotage you. Today I want to talk about the subconscious mind and managing your thoughts.
Keep in mind these are big topics and I’m only scratching the surface but know that these two things are a big part of what I’ve been trained on and I work with clients on in my coaching business.
The subconscious mind- Our subconscious minds like repeated patterns of things it knows. It doesn’t like change. It will always tell you to keep doing what you’ve always done because it knows you can survive that even if it’s not in your best interest.
Changing this requires actions over time to make the new thing safe. It also sometimes requires work around beliefs that you aren’t even aware of so you can shift without years of things like traditional therapy.
When you can show your mind that the new action is safe than change is easier. Here are a few subconscious beliefs I’ve helped my clients change:
~I have to keep the weight on so I can protect myself. It’s not safe to be attractive to men.
~I am not worth loving.
~I can’t play big because I’ll be rejected
Keep in mind that these are not thoughts clients were aware they had. They were hidden in the subconscious, but when they were revealed things became easier.
Managing your thoughts- We can have plans in place, support, food prepped etc. but if we can’t manage our minds that will destroy all your efforts and possibly everything in your life. Being healthy and happy begins with the thoughts in your mind.
Inside your mind do you have a supportive, loving friend talking to you or a mean girl? If you are thinking bad thoughts daily then you’ve got the mean girl talking to you. In fact, you might be avoiding social situations, the mirror, the camera, sex, or exercise because these can be times when this mean girl shows up and you don’t need more of that.
Part of success is making a habit of noticing the thoughts in your mind and changing them to something new. Once you learn how to consistently do this your stress levels will drop, you will feel more optimistic, it will be easier to care for yourself, eat well and move your body consistently.
You can try this. Set a timer to go off each hour and just spy on your thoughts and notice what thoughts are going through your mind. Are they positive and uplifting or negative and heavy? Just notice and change the channel to something more positive.
Let’s use the example of weekends that I talked about last week. We know that weekends and special occasions are circumstances that happen. It’s a fact they will occur and you can’t change facts or circumstances but you can choose your thoughts around them.
When you think about attending a party you might vision you in the corner of the room with your sparkling water fighting temptation with all your might and this thought will make you feel like if you go you will be restricted and deprived (totally drama).
These thoughts are messages that you are powerless in the face of social events.
When you start thinking these thoughts stop yourself and ask, “What’s a better thought I could think?”
You want a thought that is more empowering and resourceful. When you vision the weekend think about the fun, the connection and the foods you are consciously choosing to eat, how you’ve set yourself up for success by planning, the company you’re enjoying (you didn’t show up to hang out with the chips and dips).
People think they have no control over there thoughts but actually, you do and in the life coaching world, it’s called thought and belief work. It’s a practice of noticing the thought and deciding if you are going to let it consume you or change it.
How do I know because I’ve done it. There was a time my mind was focused mostly on thoughts that weren’t serving me. I can honestly say that for the most part, I think positive thoughts 90% of the time. Of course, I’m human and things derail me, but I can switch back much quicker.
I’ve seen this happen with many clients and colleagues as well and it’s a trait of happy people.
When you change your thoughts and beliefs you change how the story of your life and success unfolds. You get results.
When you update the thoughts and beliefs you upgrade your entire life.
I’ve got 3 spots opening up for 1:1 coaching. If you are curious if this would be a fit for you FREE clarity call with me we can see if it’s a fit You can book here https://my.timetrade.com/book/W2B3H. If you want to see how I’ve supported others you can check that out too http://janellejai.com/praise/