So what do I mean by living by default? Living by default means that you repeat the same actions, emotions and thoughts each day. It means that you allow the thought and emotion about a circumstance decide how you will feel.
If there something going on today that you like that means you’ll be happy and if there’s something going on that you don’t like that means you won’t. How you are going to feel based on what life shows you.
If your husband forgets to take out the trash and you’ve reminded him 5 times you feel angry and frustrated, but if he brings you flowers you feel great. The circumstance causes you to default to a feeling. This can happen in all areas of our life from getting a raise at work to not getting your morning coffee.
What happens when we are in this default system we end up creating and noticing more of what we don’t want than what we do want. When we are focused on something we see and feel more of it.
We also end up taking less action in the areas we want to improve on and default to what we have always done and that doesn’t create the momentum we need to have to live the life we want.
When we repeat the same thoughts, feelings, and emotions over and over we are in default. Those things have been repeated so much we are programmed to just go to the same thoughts and feelings we’ve repeated throughout our lives. If we want change we have to feel differently and that requires us to take a different action and to think new thoughts.
So here’s my formula for breaking out of default and into purpose. Start NEW.
N- Notice. Notice your reaction. If you are feeling a negative feeling or emotions stop, ask yourself, “What’s a better thought I could think” and then think it and take action based on that.
E-engage. Engage with appreciation. Give 4 appreciations. Think of 4 four things you can appreciate about your day or your life that will have you feeling positive emotions. These don’t have to be hard. Often mine area as easy as, “I had a wonderful walk this morning”, or “I’m so glad it’s a sunny warm day”.
W-Write. Keep a journal by your bed and before you go to sleep at night write down what was good about your day. The idea here is to get you focusing on the good more than the bad because you really do get more of what you focus on and the connection between the motion of writing and the gratitude brings it more to life.
We will always get more of the emotion we focus on. This system will have you making purposeful choices and not defaulting to the thoughts and emotions your current belief system has you believing and repeating.
P.S. Just starting your transformational journey? Start with the Ring of Life exercise. Get it here. Ready to break the repeated patterns and stop defaulting so you can make real changes in your life. Book a free Discovery Call here and get ready to step into the life you’ve always dreamed of.